The ultimate answer

I understand the whole concept of the institution of marriage. It no longer seems as an act of buffoonery and a life long endless sacrifice with an inevitable perpetual compromise. Sitting in a plush and posh Delhi bar next to two pseudo-blonde chicks and of course my dear old Jha I realized all this.
The last two months have been more than an intellectual learning for me (the primary cause of my being here, in this unknown city). No doubt it was there, in far more greater proportions than I actually think, I have absorbed. But along with it, I believe I have grown to be a person with insight and some degree of spiritual understanding ( If I may take the liberty)
And unlike most of the people around, who lack it and are in consistent pursuit of it. I guess I have gained it pretty much without any sweat. (Just by living a life of excess and of course a few oz of ethanol down my system)
Waking up to a new face in bed every week is not as enticing and charming as it used to seem. Not that it’s bad, and let’s not get in to the morals of the whole issue. It is a great ego boost; you are happy and ready to take on the world with no regrets and pure bliss. You have a slicker, sharper self visualization and you see the world with rosy glasses. And your close ones are the first ones to notice it and point out the stark differences. But then like all other things you get used to it and it becomes an ordeal, a ‘pain in the neck’ especially the ‘cleaning up’ act and all the good byes; I’m seriously pathetic at that!
This pleasurable monotony brings to your mind the pictures of the past. While you are such a ‘Bond’, How come you were and still are always a jerk in front of the person you actually love! Why were you unable to make out with a special someone, even though the atmosphere was right, setting was perfect! You were forced to act, in the good will of the other person, the thing better for her. Than thinking about your own stupid, selfish, self; you chose to think about her future, her loved ones, her family.
This brings us back to the self realization phenomena!
When one has it, only then can one realize the futility of all the pursuit. The superficiality! Is this what I want all my life?
I agree that the majority of my fellow beings, especially in this country think of marriage as nothing but a pathway for love making. That may remain the case for 8-10 years after that, depending on the libido, after which it looses it’s importance as the paramount desire. Down the line at the age of forty, your more likely to be drawn towards your home, just because some one is there, who understands your silences. In front of whom there is no pretence (inspite this being a ‘make up’ world) who is, in true meaning your philosopher and a guide. You are happy and thankful to your fore fathers for establishing this institution so that it is easier for you to pursue your other dreams of actualization with ease and stability. This is also the time when you realize, had you been more careful, giving and considerate with your acquaintances and your ‘so called’ friends, with whom you have almost lost contact now, with just the occasional greeting on festivals and get-togethers. You could have got more persons to bank upon! And then you realize the true meaning of brotherhood and friendship.


PS: Caution:: This is not a self help write up! The author does not take the responsibility if the reader self confesses his/her unconditional love and admiration for some one and be charged with eternal damnation for the then longed and prolonged hellish life. What works for me, might not work for you!!