Intense Insecurity

“You Dog”
“Male chauvinist pig”
“You are such a cheapster”
“Arrogant Bastard”
“Cold hearted prick”
These are only some of the many compliments I have earned over the years. ‘Egoist’ and ‘narcissist’ are the most common and the only ones I agree with myself. But INSECURE, this is brand new.
When you are in transactional exchange with someone, you form a relationship. This may be either positive or negative (depending on the philosophy of half empty and full). I personally try to learn from all transactions and move on. Because as Dr. Brian Weiss say, we are here on this earth, just to learn from experiences, and that’s the only aim.
But there are certain ones, the ones, which you call as deep friendship; the ones, which are forged with admiration, and sometimes, blind faith. Where you want the other to benefit more than you yourself benefit from the whole transactional experience. In those cases, you cannot be detached, unconcerned.
In such cases, you are more emotional, more caring, and more passionate. But these high degree of the sense of belongingness, this INTENSITY in relationship is taken as insecurity. Instead of appreciating the concern, the other person tends to shy away, even fight and respond in a hostile manner.
The only course befitting such a situation, letting go of your emotions to a certain degree and give each other another chance. But if this does not work, the only way left is to let go completely, before things turn into hatred.
The person may not be ready yet and it is not in your hand. He or she maybe waiting for something, some sign, some happening, some experience. And that might be another life!